I think I might secretly like hugs

Turtles are associated with awkwardness (awkward turtle, anyone?). Here turtles are hugging. Thus, this depicts the awkwardness of hugging.

In real life, I really dislike hugging people. I feel that it is awkward and much too close for comfort. What pleasure is there to gain from pressing your chest against another person’s chest? In most circumstances, not much, if any. All that ensues is awkward feelings. I know, I live and breathe awkwardness, right? So naturally, it would follow that I would appreciate such awkward feelings. But no, that is not the case. Just because I am an awkward being does not mean that I seek extra awkwardness in all circumstances.

As you may have noticed, I began the above paragraph with “in real life”. Which brings me to another realm of my existence.

In my dreams, I seem to find some sort of pleasure in hugging people. There is never awkwardness in hugging people in dreams, and I am pretty sure that that is not because there is an absence of awkwardness in my dreams; I do live and breathe awkwardness, so some of that does follow me into the world of my dreams.

Here are some instances of when I have hugged people voluntarily in my dreams:

  • At least one or two years ago, I had a dream where I was in the game room of my house. A certain actor, who will remain unnamed, was sitting in there with a beige turtleneck on. (I personally hate turtlenecks, by the way.) The time seemed to be in the afternoon, because there was light coming in from the window, but it was a little dark, too, at the same time. As would follow, since the subject of this whole spiel is hugging, I hugged the person randomly sitting in my living room. It was pretty pleasant.
  • Just this morning, I had a dream in which there was some sort of cyber war going on, and some other group of people had challenged whatever group I was a part of. Naturally, alliances began to form. The opposing group teamed up with some group, which I have no recollection of. My group really needed a group to form an alliance with. Alas, we discovered that there was a group standing outside the room that would be willing to help us out. When we walked out, several very tall people were standing around in long, black, leather-looking trench coats. They were really awesome coats, because there were different strap things sewn onto them, resulting in a very intense design. These people looked very cool, in a don’t-mess-with-me, slightly biker kind of way. Their aloof personalities gave them an even greater sense of coolness. Anyhow, I was so happy that another group was going to join forces with my group that I jumped onto one of the tall people and hugged the person for a very long time. Or maybe I was just hanging on to said person. In any case, that was also rather pleasant. The moment was marred a bit when a very deep voice came out of one of the other aloof tall people. I do not remember what that guy said, but somehow that ended the hugging moment, and the scene of my dream transitioned to another place. Throughout the dream, though, I had major hops, and could jump really high and do cool tricks in the air.

So I just might secretly like hugs. But even so, I do not think that will be affecting how I approach hugs henceforth. Whatever my unconscious/subconscious likes, that still does not change the awkwardness that hugs cause.

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2 Responses to I think I might secretly like hugs

  1. annabellers says:

    hehehe

  2. alice says:

    It seems you know this, but it definitely sounds like your hangups are entirely mental and embarrassment related. I think as you get older and stop caring as much about such things you will really appreciate hugs more. The physical act of hugging is pleasurable for most people so I think it will only be a matter of time.

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